Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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