Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
