They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Enjoy the penises
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
