Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
