big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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