I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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