he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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