I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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