I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
