you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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