Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
