Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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