the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This house was built for laser tag.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
