it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's official drugs can't kill me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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