wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
