if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
