Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize