You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
