she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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