Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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