Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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