these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
