i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
