Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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