Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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