i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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