fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize