i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize