i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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