This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How does one acquire holy water?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
