imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
