i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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