A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
