when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
