u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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