i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
