I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
