Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
