ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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