You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
