chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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