I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
