I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
