Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
