wanna go halves on a baby?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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