Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
