I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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