it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
