so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Randomize
