so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
