I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
