Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
