my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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