Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I understand Curling. That high.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
