whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
