I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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