I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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