Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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