In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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